Old Gemini Moon Blog

Shawn is leaving for Utah tonight. He is leaving at 1 in the morning because his radiator is not working right so he thinks if it is cooler his car may make it. It is never cool in Phoenix in the summer. Not even at night. But it rained tonight so maybe that will have cooled it down a little.

I have cried so much the past 3 days. It isn't because he is leaving. It is more because I think back on the time I could have spent with him getting to know him better and didn't, or time he had to spend with a babysitter because I wanted to go out with my friends. I raised them as a single mom for over 10 years. It was hard and I was lonely a lot but I did it. My boys are good boys and I don't know how they are.

I need to quit beating myself up over this. I would rather have him move to Utah where I at least know where he is. I know I'm pathetic but this is my first child leaving home so give me a break.